Cancer Is Not a Disease, But a Survival Mechanism...
Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had been working his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing of this news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck, I am so sorry," they offered sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned to the farmer, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful!" the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man.
The next day, the farmers' son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbors once again offered their sympathy at this misfortune.
"Maybe," answered the farmer.
The following day military officials came through the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son had a broken leg they passed him by. The neighbors happily congratulated the old farmer on how things had turned out
"Maybe," replied the farmer.
This story could continue on indefinitely and for me, illustrates the unpredictable dance of life. Naturally when I was first diagnosed I was knocked down by a wave of fear that left me speechless and in shock. For the first few weeks I couldn't really talk to anyone, I couldn't explain anything. I just needed to get my bearings and find some shred of 'me' in all of this mess.
Fast forward five months later, the other day driving in the car with my daughter and I said to her how thankful I was for all of this. I can see so clearly now that I was headed down a path I would never want to step back on to again. Its not as though I was drinking whisky, gambling and eating at McDonalds every day; I wasn't addicted to drugs or in an abusive relationship---at least not with anyone else. But I was in an unhealthy relationship with myself and thus this indirectly translated to the rest of my life. I was kidding myself going through the motions of a life I thought I wanted. Of a life I do want; but I don't want the image of a life, I don't want merely the appearance of my dreams---I want to participate and experience the planting, cultivating, growing and harvesting of my dreams; of this amazing life, loving me just as I am.
And so, to truly love means to open my arms and my heart to the unpredictability of life, to the ever shifting tides and raw, organic sensations and experiences of life and recognizing that I--tht we--can discover truths for ourselves. We can step back from our conditioning and view our experience through a wider lens with greater perspective and be willing to open our minds to new ways of living.
"Just because most doctors and patients assume that cancer cells are out to destroy the body does not mean that cancer cells actually have such a purpose or ability. There is nothing in a cancer cell that even remotely has the ability to kill anything. Viewed superficially, to the students, an illness appears to be something destructive and harmful to the body. Seen from a deeper perspective, however, the same illness is but an attempt by the body to cleanse and heal itself." (A.Moritz)
In many ways my journey is just getting started and yet I feel as though its been far longer than 5 months since I sat in that dark radiology room in the open-backed cotton hospital gown, across from the surgeon as he looked at me with heavy eyes and said they found cancer cells on the lump in my right breast. H o l y s h i t. For reals people, holy freaking shit.
That girl, the one who sat across from the radiology surgeon- in some ways she is gone; she was powered by fear much of her life. After facing some deeply difficult and painful truths about myself and the direction I was headed, I am strong enough to finally take care of and nurture both the wild child inside and strong woman I've become.
I decided that to put my trust in to a system who's agenda was largely focused on profit, fear and narrow minded and skewed research, was not in the best interest of my body, my healing, my self. I opted to try and find a way to heal the root cause rather than attack the symptoms with toxic chemicals, which to me makes no sense at all. The minute I made that decision--to follow my intuition--was when a new aspect of self emerged and I began to trust in my ability to navigate this journey. Though I would not be suiting up to battle a war; I am not attacking anything but rather softening to love this body and its amazing cells that work miracles for me every day. Changing the dialogue from shame and lack and learning to recognize that there has been enough resistance; I've fought my self long enough, the imperfections, the perceived flaws, the inadequacies, the failed attempts, its time to love myself not fight myself. Put the weapons down, girl, stop fighting your self and your life. Just take it all in, here you are. Face it. This is it. Life. A blessing and miracle. So what are you gonna do with it now?
The past five months have found me researching and studying and learning around the clock and navigating what began as a healing regimen outlined by my naturopath, with the ultimate goal of implementing it as a lifestyle--not just a protocol that I am following. I have begun to feel this new way of life taking deep root in my life and I am so deeply thankful for the guides, mentors, books, healers and incredible support that has come in to my life. It has helped dispel the crippling fear that I felt in the beginning and truly recognize that this has in many ways been a blessing in my life.
"Cancer is a wakeup call, prompting us to take our life back when it no longer feels meaningful. The alarm bell that sounds to wake us up rings painfully loud, which is good because we are more likely to respond to physical than emotional pain and imbalance." (Andreas Moritz)
It may seem crazy that I would consider this a blessing, especially when people are dying and even more heartbreaking are the children that have succumbed to this deep imbalance in the body and parents who have lost their little ones. Its an unspeakable pain that too many have had to bear. I believe this is in many ways a global wake up call, to the ways we are polluting our air, our water and our food and ultimately our bodies with pesticides, pollution and vaccines.
So, what is cancer? When I was first diagnosed I thought it was a malicious disease that attacked the body and eventually led to almost certain death. I find it concerning that there has been a dramatic increase in cancer diagnosis' over the last 50 years and yet after all this time the main form of treatment we offer (surgery/radiation/chemo) has a mere 2.5% success rate. I also find it disturbing that the pharmaceutical companies pay their drug researchers to publish only the most favorable findings from their experiments and these researchers (per the FDA) only need to prove that the results had some benefit in some people. What concerned me even more is that treatment options I was offered weren't addressing the root cause of cancer--only the symptoms. As with any bodily imbalance, unless you address the root cause it will likely repeat itself as an expression of deeper imbalances needing to be addressed.
"Our most effective regimens are fraught with risks and side effects and practical problems, and after this price is paid by all the patients we have treated, only a small fraction are rewarded with a transient period of usually incomplete tumor regression." (~Dr. Charles Moertel of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota)
Everyone has cancer cells. Our bodies turn over about 30 billion cells per day and about one percent of those are cancer cells. Our immune system takes care of them without our even knowing it. Our healthy cells thrive in an oxygenated, alkaline environment and a key player is our lymphatic system, of which 80% is located in our intestines. Its up to us to make sure that system moves and flushes toxins on a regular basis. If our system becomes congested, overly acidic and deprived of oxygen then our cells mutate in an attempt to survive --not because they are malicious and want to attack our body. We rely on our cells to carry away metabolic waste, if they stopped functioning then we would die within a few days from septic shock. So, in order to keep functioning they have to learn how to live in a non-oxygenated environment; so these cells mutate and learn to get their energy through fermenting glucose since oxygen ( healthy cells use oxygen to get energy from glucose) isn't available. Tumors form as the body's way of keeping the cancer cells separate from the rest of the body. Once the source of congestion has been addressed, then the immune system will then begin to recognize and break down the tumor on its own. But until the congestion is addressed, the immune system will not attack those cancer cells because it understands they are helping the body survive. It made more sense to me that I remove the congestion (the root cause of imbalance in my body) than to "attack" my cells with chemicals that will indeed kill cancer cells but will also kill healthy cells. Personally this did not resonate with me and I knew that I needed to address the deeper issues at hand in my body and my life.
"The consequence of waste buildup in the cell environment is that cells not only become deprived of oxygen and other vital nutrients, but they also begin to suffocate in their own waste. The dramatic change of the cell environment leaves them with no other choice but to mutate in to "abnormal" cells, given the circumstances. " (A. Moritz)
The causes of congestion will vary for each person. Its usually a combination of factors such as environmental (through the air, food or in-utero) long-term extreme stress, not pooping every day, vaccines, poor diet/excessive animal protein intake (sorry folks but we have become overly obsessed with protein--has anyone noticed how large animals like gorillas, horses, giraffes, etc.. get their protein? Just sayin'….).
In my case its no doubt the excessive stress I lived in (10 years of survival mode living) very poor digestion, repressed emotions, lack of self worth….all created a perfect recipe for congestion and acidity in my body. I took steps to 'be healthy' but I wasn't embracing health out of respect and love for this amazing life and self; I was just doing it because I read about it somewhere.
There is a big difference between doing something we are told is good for us, and truly taking it in, assimilating, digesting and feeling what truly resonates within our being. Deciding for ourselves what feels right in our body, in our life, in our moments.
This is what my naturopath intended for me after providing the foundation of my regimen; he wanted me to become confident enough in my healing to start to discern for myself "what does my body need today? What will nourish my mind and spirit?"
So here I find myself finally tuning in. Yes, I know chia seeds, flax oil and kale are good for me but embracing a healthy lifestyle is about choosing and living what feels good in this body, in this mind, in this sweet self.
I look forward to sharing more about my own healing progress next week in Part 2.
"When you consciously accept/embrace what or whom you resist in your life (whom or what you resist is merely a mirror image of yourself) you will not only lose the fear but also the body's cells can return to their natural, balanced growth mode. It is far more important to identify and address whatever prevents the body from healing, or rather to supply whatever helps it to feel whole and vital, than to fix only the symptomatic appearance of cancer."